oh hi 5:12 AM

"And we thought of life by analogy was a journey with a pilgrimage which had a serious purpose at the end, and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, or maybe heaven after you're dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing, or to dance, while the music was being played." ~ Alan Watts

teleporting here nowbye.

I was for certain 'feeling weird on a Monday night'.

I finally finished my research paper on Colony Collapse Disorder that was due at 11:59 on Monday.

I AM VERY PROMPT.

(this doubles as: I am very good at procrastinating)

After three straight days of research and writing, I am more than ready to head home tonight and spend some quality time with my family and recharge. Also to, shamelessly, catch up on school work. It's inescapable. I am very excited to be going to see Motel Mattress on Saturday night in Worcester, though. I deeply miss experiencing live music and I need it! Yeah, seriously- to the point of necessity. I'm deprived.

If life is a 'musical thing', as Alan Watts once said, then I think right now, the verse in my life song would sound a lot like this: 

Hectic and repetitive but still melodic and enjoyable.

Victim of Gravity.

Live in the Sunshine.

Swim the Sea.

Drink the wild Air.

-Emerson

Melissa really knows how to put a smile on my face!

deeply relatable

I feel like my days have been blending together, more intensely than is normal. School has been consuming my life and in turn, I have been abandoning my well being. I need to feed my soul. I need to catch my breathe. I need to take a walk in the woods. I need to see my family and my cats and my dog. I need a break to play. I need to find my sanity. I need, need, need...to find myself again; as a being separate from college busy work. Damnit. Can't wait to progress beyond this and enter new realms of the human experience.

So, I'll definitely never get over how amazing New Order is.
that is All.

Last weekend I was drowning in Blake...

[[paper entitled: William Blake's 'London' as a Microcosm of the Human Experience]]

now this weekend I will be enthralled with Honey Bee's!

Colony Collapse Disorder, specifically.

How COMPLETELY and UTTERLY different these subjects are.

I'm very pleased with the topics I have chosen though, I must say.

It's the BUZZy time of the semester,

yanno?

The mind slows down, consistency of molasses, honey darling. I feel clear but there is fog pervading the peripherals of my minds eye. To be forced to compose intellectually relevant thought at 2:43am is unlikely, but it's dribbling out of me none-the-less. Intellectual drool. Drone on, college student robot. Four more pages to go. William Blake baffles and awes. Procrastination should be my middle name, but alas, it is still Kristen. It's funny how you can become addicted to sound, a certain melody, that you just can't get over, no matter how many times you repeat it inside your eardrums. It's just that mind-boggling and beautiful that it touches your soul, to the point where you want to feel that sensation again and again. Genesis by Grimes is that experience for me lately. It's that celestial droning, heavenly female ambiance. Her voice sends me to a different dimension; hello there, Cosmos. The initial feeling dampens after about fifty plays, but yet you continually press play, just one more time.. (repeat). I think after awhile you just long for that initial euphoria you experience when you hear a song you absolutely and utterly love. Fish are so tranquil. All they do is float around and just be. No fishy worries, no fishy obligations, no fishy finances. To just forget everything. What a life. I want to be a fish right now, instead of a 23 year old girl who waits until the last minute to write papers. I should probably find my motivation. I've lost it.

Can you think of another thing I've lost?
(Hint: it isn't my fish.)

Believe we're gliding down the highway,
 when in fact we're slip sliding away...

Will Fill these pages with thoughts. visions. sounds.

Hopes to connect. share. inspire.

And. So. It. Begins.

Let it all in.